5-25-16

Hi dolls, I have been working on my Goddess Garden every free moment I get. I am firery about it. Becoming a mother tapped me […]

5-16-16

hey sweet loves, We got home late Saturday night from Florida and got settled back in yesterday. 10 days away from home is a long […]

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5-4-16

Hi Yall ūüėČ   Man does it feel good to have that story done and published! (If you haven’t read it yet you can¬†click here […]

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4-28-16

Hi Lovers, Nothing too exciting to report. Just writing to say hello. Also sometimes I just need to write to clear my thoughts. My mind […]

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4-23-16

hi dolls, I just finished writing a piece for an online magazine. They asked me to write about my experience living in the mountains etc. […]

2-7-16

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Hi Friends,

 

Recently I have been thinking alot about what it means to be a woman and an american.

I have been spending quite a bit of time with my grandmother recently and she has challenged me to think a little differently about the world.

Now my grandmother is fairly progressive, she’s definitely not your average. Her stance on marriage has been really great to hear and she has opened my eyes to a part of my life I have basically¬†ignored until now; Patriotism.

I grew up moving around the midwest and never grew attached to a house or town or group of people other than my family. Growing up in America, never traveling outside of the country (which I still haven’t, but I will) I just completely took my country and place of living for granted. I assumed it was like this everywhere. As I have gotten older I am more aware of global happenings and talking with friends who have travelled, but I still have never really had any attachment to my country. Since I can remember we, America, have been very controversial. As a kid I had no idea what was going on. The news anchors always seemed upset with the president and congress and so did a lot of adults. It has always been tumultuous, watching the opinions of others of America.

As a “grown” (lol am I ¬†grown?) woman, I have been questioning pretty much everything this country does, especially when it comes to women’s rights.

After experiencing the criminal justice system for myself and then getting pregnant unexpectedly I can say through my personal experience that this country has a lot, and I mean a lot of women’s issues it needs to give attention to.

After being told by my employer and a lawyer that because of a HUGE loophole in our employment laws the moment I left work to have a baby I would lose my insurance (that I paid for), my paid time off (which I earned), I would have to interview all over again for my job and go through a probation period of 6 months before getting my benefits reinstated once I came back after baby.

Is this America???

I was so mad. I was trying to be a responsible adult and have a job with insurance and support my child and they just threw me out…..so I had no other choice but to get medicaid…which in the long run worked out, we didn’t have a single bill for Phoenix’s birth and he was probably a million dollar baby. SO jokes on you America….

Anyways I was pretty jaded after those two experiences. There is no denying that we have problems in our country, very deep, serious problems, but every country has problems.

I did some research in college about patriotism and we found a HUGE correlation with patriotism and bigotry, so I had some negative connotations with patriotism. I assumed being patriotic meant approving of those who are elected in office and the decisions they made, which most of the time I did not agree with. I thought being patriotic meant that I agreed with everything going on in America, and I don’t. I wonder about the intentions of the elected officials and corruption in this country. Money seems to buy anything these days….I mean you guys….Trump? Wtf.

I digress,

I never felt like I could be patriotic because there are so many changes I want to see happen in this country. I am raging, livid, red hot pissed about so many things happening in this country.

This, is when I realized that I love my country. In my country I can be livid. Livid is a type of hopeful maddness. I am so mad about where we are in this country, specifically with how we take care of our women and people in poverty, but I am mad hopeful. I am mad because I know we are smarter than this. We should have already had this shit figured out.

I do believe in America. ¬†We have a long long way to go on a lot of very important issues but here in America, We The People can make a difference. Maybe the election is rigged. Maybe money controls the judicial system, but it can’t control the masses unless we allow them to. We have tools now that they cannot take away. I mean I am typing up a rant right now that I am putting on the internet for the entire WORLD to see…..that is fucking cool….and that is power.

As long as Beyonce is dropping music videos like “Formation”, freely, I believe in America.

I believe that most people are good people. I believe that most people want to get rid of racism and sexism and all other ism’s. We want to change how we were programmed to think about people who are different than us. We want all Americans out of poverty. We want all women to have access to GOOD medical care. (There is much more to my story about Nix and I and medicaid but no need to get into it. Just know that there is a huge disparity in our country between who gets what kind of care based on insurance etc. It IS fucked up. But like I said thats for another time.)

I believe today more than ever that women will be who changes the world, who changes America. If men were going to pull their heads out they’d have done it by now. They have been in power forever and we are sunk in deeper than ever. This is a job for a woman. A woman who knows how to be uncomfortable and breathe her way through it, who can carry her baby and her husband on her back, who knows what sacrifice means. The world will change and it will be because women decided to change it.

The older I get the more I see who really has the power. Women have so much power but we have been giving it away. If we can wake up and realize the power that we hold, we can use it to make this country the most amazing place on the planet. The men have done a decent job until now but it is time. It is time for a woman to finish the job….

This is NOT a man hating post. This is NOT a post about how women should be in charge of men and we are better than men blah blah blah.

No, women are different than men and hold a different kind of power. It is not a power of brutal force or physical strength which men posses. It is a divine power. It is a smart power, an unseen power. A power that understands she needs men, she loves men, and she can let men be in charge.

I am NOT talking about every elected official or even the president being a female. I am talking about each individual woman finding her divine power and making changes in her life, personally. Raising up daughters who are strong and think for themselves. Deciding that she will live a life she wants. She will make decisions for herself. No more princess bull shit. No more sitting back quietly while someone else makes a decision for us. No more looking for a husband who will support her. Women want to support themselves. Let’s let them.

Guys Beyonce just gets me all fired up. Her music, her art is nothing short of incredible. She is leading the way. So like she says; Ladies, get in formation. Or is it “get information”? Think about it.

Back to patriotism….

I got going on this subject because my grandma and I were at the Denver art museum for the Wyeth exhibit and we were sitting drinking coffee in the gift shop afterwards. We were just sitting there looking around in silence and then she said, “Isn’t this an amazing country? We can come to a place like this and see artwork like that, any time we want?”

Totally threw me off guard. It made me think. What do I think about my country actually? Other than complaining about our issues….what do I actually think?

I think this. We live in the most amazing place. Is it the most amazing in the world? I don’t know because I have never been anywhere, but I do know that every country has problems, I know that tons and tons of people wish they called America their home. I know that I get to live a free lifestyle because I live here. I get to enjoy national parks, travel anywhere freely, live anywhere freely, I can say and post and do pretty much anything I want whenever I want. I am free. I believe America has hit a tipping point. We are at a point in history were we must make changes or we will disintegrate.¬†Women, people of color, gay men and women, have all had enough and we outnumber the few who refuse to open their minds and hearts.

I believe in this amazing country. I believe that the land we live on is powerful, magical. I believe the idea of what America can be is possible.

I am patriotic in that I love this land. I want to make it as peaceful and beautiful as possible for all people who share it with me. This is what patriotism means to me. I don’t feel the need to fly our flag 24/7 or join the military. I will take care of my home, I will take care of our land, I will take care of my neighbor; this is patriotism. No hate. Just love.

Now. Lets get out there and vote ladies! No excuses! BERN IT DOWN! ūüėČ

XOXO

Haley Anne